It is a major honour and one of my life-time golf goals to captain the USA for a second time. Thankyou for having the faith in me to lead us to victory as playing captain.
I know you will need no motivation, but history is on our side with 13 USA victories to the Eurob's meagre 10. USA… USA… USA
In the time remaining before the ultimate challenge, I know you will work hard to reach the peak of fitness. Hock is cycling to Amsterdam. Anything of similar effort level is wholly appropriate. Please follow Jamie Olivers 'Eat Yourself Healthy' regime to ensure you arrive in peak BMI. A bit of golf would be good as well.
We are fortunate to be playing some wonderful courses, including the home course of our President, no not Trump International, but West Lancs. Our President, the legend that is JA, will no doubt give us some inside tips, discretely, prior to the day. Please do not share with the Eurobs. Not that I expect that they will be interested as they will probably be drinking, eating or sleeping on a couch somewhere.
It was a source of amusement when I heard that several of the Eurobs were now using Mounjaro in a futile attempt to make it into the USA team.
You will be pleased to know I have been in close contact with Keegan, Keegan Bradley, who took my advice to avoid being a playing captain, due to his extreme youth. He will be leading the USA reserves a week later at Bethpage Black. It is our duty to set an example for the youth team.
We, in Team USA, always like to be at the cutting edge of innovation. With this in mind I would like to introduce the concept of succession planning for future years and will announce my VC after the weigh in. With your agreement, for we are also a democracy, the VC will take over the mantle for the following year.
Finally, please remember that God (AKA The Hock: Handicap Chair) is also on our side. Winning is our destiny. USA…USA…USA

Dear Fellow Eurobs,
I'm honoured to be your captain again after our emphatic 16.5 to 13.5 win in the North East's industrial heartland last year. The reality is that the Eurobs I approached to pass on the mantel of Captain to didn't want the job, so like the Succession series, I may have this job until they carry me away in a wooden box, which, with a BMI of 32 the USA team may argue is not that far off.
Where do you get inspiration from to Captain a team to victory? Well for me it came last Thursday night at 10pm. Having polished off a Chicken Madras with Kema Naan, washed down with 4 pints of lager and half a bottle of Malbec, I had just finished watching the latest episode of "My 600-lb Life" when I received a WhatsApp from Hurstie as follows:
"Given I am halfway through my holiday in Portugal, even before the 3 kids and their partners arrive, the food / booze is taking control…….I will lay a bet I will be a Eurob.
Reason for the WhatsApp?
If that is the case, very likely, it would be good to partner you for once rather than playing against you
Food (and beer) for thought as you sort pairings
Hurstie"
So fellow Eurobs, we'll have the Champion Golfer of the Year on our side which is 3 points in the bag for the Eurobs before we down our first pint of beer.
Victory is only 5,000 calories per day away!

Phil's Eurob Philosophy

It is no coincidence that the word “die” is three quarters of the word “diet”.

If you must diet, use the Garlic Diet. You don’t lose weight, you just look thinner from a distance.

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

Not helped by a fascinating new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge – today I had a huge Sausage Sandwich named Kevin.

So I used all my will power and finally gave up dieting.
I tried a fitness coach who told me to bend down and touch my toes. I said “I don’t have that intimate a relationship with my feet, can I just wave?”.

I did find however a new favourite exercise – chewing.
But this year’s new Eurob weight loss exercise is a surefire winner – to lose one pound, double click the mouse five million times.