EUROBS

Less than 3 weeks until we travel to Portugal for our annual festival of golf!

I am still unsure how I ended up with the honour of leading the fine band of merry men, I guess Phil must have caught me at a weak moment in a bar somewhere!

The Estoril region has been experiencing stronger than usual winds in recent months so fatness could be an advantage over fitness once more (remember the breezy Cumbria trip?). With that in mind I have no doubt that the Eurob team are all on a strict dietary region and are keeping fluid level intake at sufficiently high levels to prepare fully for the days (and nights in Portugal). Selection may be tight this year with several players likely to be on the cusp (others of us I expect will qualify quite comfortably).

Anyway really looking forward to the few days of fun (and golf) hopefully in good weather and thank you to Woody for his organisation so far and to Nige for a lot of the groundwork also. Can't wait to meet up again and do battle with USA and of course to see the Eurobs victorious!!

Sharpy/Razor

Fellow Ultra Slim Athletes, it is an honour to be selected to be your Captain this year. I'm not sure how I was selected, rumour has it that it was Phil, I think he thought that it would make us a weaker team. Let me tell you - we will not be! The heat of Portugal plays to our strengths, we are fit and healthy and our training regimes are carefully tailored to withstand the heat, the beer, wine and food that the Eurobs will be putting our way.

We currently have 11 wins to the Eurobs 9, losing last year was a bitter blow and we certainly need to put that right in Portugal.
The great news is that our magnificent, awe-inspiring President is back - and I can report that he is re-invigorated and raring to go, and his golf is not only on the up but much improved. He and I are sharing a room so be sure he will have passed on all his tips (well not quite all I hope) before the serious golf starts. I also expect to welcome Iggy back into the fold, he's decided to take his golf seriously again, and on a recent trip to Dornoch approached Simon Lowe and me for a transfer back to the good guys, which we were delighted to accept. Beware you Eurobs.

So with the USA squad likely to be, JA, Shipper, Hock, Woody, Norm, Nige, Iggy, Si Lo and myself I can't see us losing.
I know you guys have put the hard yards in to prepare for this year's event, so now all you have to do is sit back, relax, acclimatise to Portugal and let your golf do the talking.
Remember - United we play, United we win
There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling, and golf. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with golf.

And finally: -
Jesus and Moses were playing golf one day when they arrived at a tough, 215-yard par three, all over water. With the honour, Jesus stepped up to the tee with a 4 iron. "That's not enough club; you need at least a 4 wood," Moses said.
Jesus responded, "No, I saw Arnold Palmer play this hole the other day and he put a 4 iron five feet from the pin and sank the putt for a birdie." Moses said, "I'm telling you, that's not enough club!"
Striking his shot, Jesus put his ball into the water. He parted the water, walked out and got the ball and teed up again. Moses said, "I told you that was not enough club; you need at least a 4 wood."
"This will be fine - remember what I said about Arnold Palmer." Jesus said. As he struck his ball, it yet again went into the water. As Moses looked on in disgust, Jesus got his ball and teed it up for yet another try.
As he was about to hit shot for the third time, a foursome was approaching the tee with one of the golfers shouting, "What's he doing hitting a 4 iron on this hole? He needs at least a 4 wood. Who does he think he is, JESUS CHRIST?"
"No," replied Moses, "He thinks he's Arnold Palmer!"
Let's have a great tour and may the good guys win!

Phil's Eurob Philosophy

It is no coincidence that the word “die” is three quarters of the word “diet”.

If you must diet, use the Garlic Diet. You don’t lose weight, you just look thinner from a distance.

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

Not helped by a fascinating new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge – today I had a huge Sausage Sandwich named Kevin.

So I used all my will power and finally gave up dieting.
I tried a fitness coach who told me to bend down and touch my toes. I said “I don’t have that intimate a relationship with my feet, can I just wave?”.

I did find however a new favourite exercise – chewing.
But this year’s new Eurob weight loss exercise is a surefire winner – to lose one pound, double click the mouse five million times.