Name	Golf Club	WHS  Number	Handicap	Requested Handicap	Provisional Handicap @ Hallamshire	Reason for any variance	Handicap Committees Comments
Bobek Lewinski	Royal St Aintree	1010391782	24.7	25	30	I like round numbers?!	So do we Bobo and we like even numbers and you too!  Not sure if this is enough, but it will at least give you a start.
John Alexander	West Lancs	1005143346	24.1	24	28	Well Mr Handicap Chairman, you have been and always will be an irritating fat b@#÷/£d, but under that shield of steel lies a soft fluffy puppy who I know if I stroke correctly will give me anything I ask for!! Or have I got it wrong?	Your impressive stance on the tee is not reflected by the way you hit the ball, hopefully this handicap will put some lead in the pencil.
Nick Hammett	Mendip	15030407	25.1	25.1	28	No variance = no reason	You can have an extra shot (taking you to 29) if you promise not to use the laser measuring device on any hole.
Dave Normington	Hallamshire	1010111901	14.7	14.7	17	Lift please on medical grounds, drop as I've already had a lift, another lift due to crap golf recently and another drop as playing a bit better now. That was worth it, wasn’t it!	You would have had an extra shot had it not been for your second shot at Silkstone!
Pete Hoy	Hallamshire	1005394019	15.9	15.9	18	No variance = no reason	A shot a hole and on your own course, where is bet Phil?
Phil Walker	Ashridge	1005818446	11.7	17	15	Seaton Carew has 22 holes and a slope rating off the whites of 136, so my handicap should be 11.7*(136/113)*(22/18)=17.21, or 17 rounded.	You get 14 shots plus one for your LOFT
Rod Wadsworth	Hallamshire	who cares?	22	26	25	Last years scores prove how bad I am	Rod you may be bad, but not that and besides you are never off the golf course
Peter Noble	Ashridge	does he still have one?	10.2	24	71	Abridged …  "I've been poorly"	If you can make it to Hallamshire Iggy, a Handicap that will give you  a fighting chance of making the cut
Paul Wood	Ashridge	1010264920	12.4	14	15	Southerner traveling North	An extra shot over what you asked for Woody as you will have difficulty seeing out of the bunkers
Nigel Whalley	Who'd have him	1002360739	5.6	6.6	7	I think  my handicap may have gone up by the start of the Dish and I never win anything at the moment.  Sob Sob!	Rounded up Nigel, Hallamshire should not prove to be a real challenge for the only proper golfer on the tour
John Everingham	Hallamshire	1013310346	15.7	15.7	17	Andrea says "he's never off the course so why does he need a handicap"?	A little more generous than that requrested by your PA John, but then you are unlikely to read this and care even less
Rob Burnett	Murcar Links	who knows?	7.2	7.2	9	Why should I bother pleading	Have you ever had such a generous handicap?
Albin Darwin	Ross on Wye	who knows?	8.8	8.8	11	Why should I bother pleading	Albin with this kind of handicap there is no reason for you not to put in a big score
Andy Deutsch	Hallamshire	1005393861	9.3	9.3	11	Nick - you quite rightly advised me to give the game a rest, having played 3 round in a week with me and seeing first hand the deterioration of my game.  You witnessed my return to action and although better it was marginal.  I'll leave the rest to you.	A generous handicap for the current holder, look after it as you might not have it for long!
Iain Thompson	Ashridge	who knows?	10.6	10.6	13	I'm on the handicap committee and so why should I bother with all this c$!p?	An unlucky number, but don't let that put you off.
Matthew Hatton	Hallamshire	who cares?	13.6	13.6	16	My NHS firewalls etc are preventing me from opening attachements from an unrealiable source!   Noting that I have always had a handicap allowance a few shorts higher than the cream of the Hallamshire representation in the Deutsch Dish. Therefore I feel there should be a triple lock in place adn I get 2 shots more that the highest handicaps of Yourself, Norm and Herr Doctor.	This was your handicp the last time you won the dish, game on my son …
Simon Lowe	Who'd have him	1004723704	11.9	11.9	14	No variance = no reason	Simon, with this handicap we expect to see you receive some form of titter at the end
Paul Hocking	Ashridge	1005819572	13.8	13.8	16	a) I'm always  off the mark and end up getting 2 shots from the handicap committee - but still to no effect. I suggest you save yourself later deliberations and get it over with now! b) Average score vs par since the start of July is +22 c) Average of my best 8 scores in the lat 20 rounds (ie ALL rounds) is 16.6 d) Each of the next 2 cards submitted will increase my official handicap anyway, with my best 2 scores about to come off.  I suspect I will be up or close to 16 by the date of the Dish anyway!! e) Desperation!	Good try Hock and your second email provided one of the best pleads ever known on the Dish.  A bit Hurstie like in that "me thinks you doth protest too much", given that you were a member of the victorious USA team last year.
Al Donaldson	Bigbury	1011372735	22.8	22.8	26	Trust you are well and in fine form fo rthe coming Dish.  Attached is my handicap request-have played little this summer so had been unable to improve my form pror to the event.  I look forward to your generosity!	A very presumptive email informing the committee of your playing handicap has been completley ignored Tufty, 26 should do nicely
Jonathan Hurst	Who'd have him	ditto	7.7	27.7	14	I have played about 10 times this year ( a record for over the last decade ) and decided I should try and get a proper handicap.  I have put in 8 cards , playing to – 13 – 8 – 13 – 21 – 14 – 16 – 23 – 11  I have not played on consecutive days because of my back And the resulting handicap ……currently 7.7 because of the bonkers system with a low number of cards in I am hoping to play and get a couple more cards in before the dish You draw your own conclusions but I think a handicap of 13 seems about right  Up to the chair of handicap though …..	Hurstie you have 14 shots and this is only because yours was the most tear jerking, grovelling and pitiful plea for mercy.  Not sure if its because you're a Northerner or just a cr@p golfer that warrants such sympathy
Richard Sharp	Ashridge	Is he a member?	15.4	15.4	18	Why should I bother pleading	A very late reply, and a very generous handicap, is it because he's a Eurob?
Nick Evans	Hallamshire	1005391338	13.7	13.7	16	What ever the handicap I promise not to win and refer to previous tours where I blew up after leading day 1	Not sure that's enough, but its all your getting
Andy Marples	Liphook	1012402743	18.4	18.4	22	I couldn't be bothered to plead and so will be grateful for what ever handicap the committee feel appropriate	Two little ducks, could this be the year for win no. 2?