Drinking Games
The Deutsch Dish is synonymous with drinking games, but these can be confusing, particularly to those new to the event. This part of the web site attempts to explain the history and rules of the 4 main games that are played on the dish. The explanations are provided courtesy of veteran dishers Herr Doktor and Mike Campbell.
Zoom Schwartz Figliano BY HD
The game was first conceived by Gilbert N Lewis in 1916 and I am happy to report that recent attempts to discredit Gilbert in favour of Irving Langmuir's first published version in 1919 have failed. This does mean that the often used terminology "You made a right Gilbert of it" still retains its relevance.
The game is very simple - just think back to your 'O' Level Chemistry - it's based on the principles of covalent bonding. It is important that the players don't get confused with ionic bonding as the game is based upon the sharing of electrons such as those demonstrated in agostic interactions and valence bond theory. The ability of the players is usually determined by the angular relation between the positions that they take up for the game and how these shift during it, (more of this later), and the similarity of their electronegativities.
The game commences with the formation of a bond between the person nominated to start the first round and the person of his choice - the target. This is done by the nominated starter looking directly at the target and saying "Zoom" - this then creates the bond between the starter, and the target.
The onus then transfers to the target who has three choices as follows: -
1. He can choose not to break the bond by looking directly at the person who gave him the bond, i.e. the starter and stating "Schwartz" this leaves the bond intact but returns the onus to the starter. The starter then has three choices as follows: -
a.
He can keep the bond intact but return the onus to the target by looking
directly at the target, remember at this stage the bond is still intact
and saying "Schwartz"
b.
He can also keep the bond intact by looking anywhere but back to the target
and saying "Figliano". This returns the onus to the target and is commonly
known as the DDDDummy.
c.
He can finally choose to break the bond and create another bond with another
player who would then become the target by looking directly at that player
the new target and saying "Zoom", thereby creating the new bond and passing
the onus to that player.
2. He can choose to keep the bond intact by looking anywhere but back to the starter and say "Figliano". This of course returns the onus to the starter via the DDDDummy move. The starter then has the same three choices as outlined above a, b and c.
3. He can choose to break the bond and create another bond with another player who will become the target by looking directly at this person and saying "Zoom", thereby creating a new bond and passing the onus to the new target. That person then has the same three choices as outlined above a, b and c.
In the unlikely event that anyone makes an error or takes longer than three seconds to respond then a drinking penalty must be taken as determined by the Chairman at that time. This penalty is administered by the chief sneak. An error is made by either using incorrect phraseology or looking at the target rather than a player, a player rather than the target, or an object rather than a player or target.
During the game it is quite acceptable for the players to move around, if they do so then the molecular structure of the group of players will change shape but note the bond that is in existence at that time is maintained between the two players concerned. However, it should be recognised that such a manoeuvre not only alters the dynamics of the group of players but can also result in a highly charged atmosphere. This can lead to the break down of the environment which would render the game unplayable, such strategies are therefore only recommended for advanced players.
Fizz Buzz BY MIKE CAMPBELL
The game originated with due deference to the founder of modular arithmetic, Gauss and his later successor at Gottingen University, Riemann. Some scholars do remark that the practice is responsible for mathematician's inability to solve the Riemann hypothesis - a problem that still baffles academics 200 years after it was originally conjectured. Scholars go on with the axiom that the attractiveness of this particular homage, which ultimately concludes in imbibing and the removal of any level of abstemiousness amongst mathematicians in general which of itself results in the dulling of the senses and occasional falling over, is actually the primary reason that number theorists in particular struggle to progress beyond the first two digits and thus are unable to ascertain the true topography of the complex plane. As readers will fully appreciate without this level of insight it is no wonder that the hypothesis remains unproven.
This attractive participation can be simply explained as follows
x is positive integer
digit € {primes: x > 3}
x1 is the first occurrence of x
x2 is the second occurrence of x
Fizz (F) is the set
of p where {p € N: p contains x1 and/or p(modx1) = 0}
Buzz (B) is the set of q where {q € N: q contains x2 and/or p(modx2)
= 0}
Fizz Buzz is r where {r € N: r € F n B}
The process is initiated at the Chairman's request indicating the initiator who must commence the game indicating a direction and a start s where {s € N: s is not € F OR s is not € B}
Note for all q direction is reversed. For the pedants it is a trivial tautology to note that r is a subset of both F and B
For inaccurate referencing of p, q or r and/or subsequent s a moderator may well intervene at the Chairman's request indicating the inaccuracy and it is a certainty that a drink will ensue
Also note that there is some substance to the speculation that the origin of the role of moderator is {m € moderators: m is a descendant of the Spanish Inquisition}. It is unlikely that an Auto de Fe will be required unless the Chairman's authority is challenged.
IF THIS SOUNDS LIKE PSEUDO INTELLECTUAL BOLLOCKS PLEASE CLICK HERE FOR A MORE CONCISE VERSION
Team Drink by HD
During the latter part of last century it was noted that some members of the tour were not consuming sufficient quantities of alcoholic beverages during the evenings, so diminishing other tour members' enjoyment of the aforesaid entertainment. After careful consideration and substantive research it was determined that there was a certain "shyness" developing amongst some of the newer members of the tour. It was decided that a new format was required which would remove these inhibitions and ensure that all participants had the opportunity to imbibe in equal amounts.
This was achieved by the development of a new game, deliberately designed
so that it was not dependent on either numerical or linguistic expertise but
each individuals motor coordination skills.
As a bit of background originally doctors* thought that all movements were
sent through a communication loop which necessarily involved the brain. However
this theory was disproved by the new generation of doctors** after experimentation
via this game's methodology which showed evidence for central pattern generators
(CPG) in the spinal cord. These CPGs allow repetitive or reflexive movements
to bypass the brain circuitry and work exclusively within the spinal cord.
Finally the conclusion of the research which took place during the playing
of these experimental games led to the adoption in the 1990's of the feed
forward control system theory. A theory was crafted in which sensory feedback
from the actual limb movement is ignored during the movement. Instead, feed
forward systems predict the necessary correction factor in order to account
for some perturbance in the optimal state, before the actual perturbance occurs.
In feed forward systems, tasks can be completed with greater speed than that
of feedback systems, however a major issue lies in the lack of communication
between the input variable and output variable. Feed forward systems rely
on a predetermined response to a disturbance and therefore lack the ability
to deal with a wide variety of disturbances, hence the measurement of the
relationship between the quantity of alcohol consumed and the speed of reaction,
see the graph below.
* including Lowe, Llewellyn and Potts
**including Green and Hatton
In order to be able to participate in the game then a player's drink must
either be resting or be able to be rested on a surface without the support
of the player. The game can be started by the chairman, an individual previously
nominated by the chairman or anyone who either feels thirsty or observes that
insufficient consumption is taking place.
The game commences by the individual, to be known as the caller, calling in
a voice loud enough to be heard by all participants "team drink".
Once this call has been made then all the participants must lift their drinking
receptacles, to be known as glass(es), to their mouths and take a drink, there
is no stipulation as to the volume of drink that has to be consumed. However,
as each player must take the same number of drinks as the person making the
original call then it is wise not to finish your drink until the caller has
indicated that the team drink has finished. The "team drink" is
concluded when the caller has put their glass down onto the surface previously
referred to and contact with the surface has been made, please note that the
caller doesn't have to have removed their hand from the glass. It is important
to note that the caller should be the first person to place their glass down
on the surface; anyone doing so before the caller is subject to a penalty
drink.
Other penalty drinks are incurred by failure to lift one's glass in a reasonable
time as defined by the chairman, failure to take the same number of sips as
the caller, and by being the last person to allow their glass to make contact
with the surface after the caller has brought the game to a halt.
Again watch out for DDDDummies.
IF YOU LOST THE WILL TO LIVE TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THIS EXPLANATION PLEASE CLICK HERE
KEN by Mike Campbell
A long, long time ago in a City far, far away (well not that far, Bristol actually)........Ken Judge...a poor left back whose greatest asset was his ability to say "Kens ball……whoops" as he spooned the ball in a random direction with all the predictability of Brownian motion. To commemorate his parting shot to the City (and his mates) an all night pursuit was named after him, the background:
Ken spent his last night out in Bristol playing drinking games with his mates for which he wore his white suit and his larger than life square spectacles. Unfortunately Kens ability at drinking games was as good as his football - so instead of returning home that evening to help his wife and two young children complete their packing in Belmont Road before moving on to take his "Chair" in Sociology at Canterbury University Ken over indulged in drinking games and was discovered next morning by the removal men lying down in his front garden asleep still clad in his white suit which bore a mixture of grass stains and vomit.
The basic tenant of the game is to avoid ending up like Ken......
The first variation involved a MASSIVE pair of Elton John type spectacles
(only bigger) later variations included some ears to replace the glasses
- immortalised when one kid aged 9 said to Nick Hammett who was wearing
the ears....."where didst tha get that nose?"
The most recent manifestation has involved a hat.
Remembering the simple principle is to avoid being Ken, anybody who is Ken (i.e. the wearer of the Ken attire for that era) must be referred to directly or indirectly as Ken and Ken only. Any permutation, derivation, extrapolation, reduction, extension or recognisable morphology of the passport and/or birth certificate and/or confirmed forename(s) and/or surname(s) and/or maiden name(s) will result in the speaker becoming Ken and the circle of naming is wound full.
An interesting extension could be considered whereby the new Ken must also consume a drink - in honour of Professor Judge (absentia).
